I want to talk to you, a person who never left your country for longer than a few months. You speak the same language you grew up with, and you celebrate holidays with your childhood friends. Yes, you! A person I envy. Please stay and listen to me. Me, who has left my home country at age 16, and lived in four countries since. Me who adopted a foreign language to speak for the rest of my life. Me who celebrates holidays with foreign friends each year. Yes, me. A person, you envy.
We are not so different, you and I. But you probably get obsessed with Instagram pages and YouTube videos about travel and nomadic life like mine? Can I tell you something? There is more to it than exotic and exciting. Living abroad can be similar to having an on suite bathroom. It’s luxurious and comfortable to have a bathroom attached to the bedroom, right? But, you also know that there are times when it stinks. Literally.
What is that you say sometimes? “I wanna go live abroad. Make my children learn different languages, and see how people live around the world. Spend my vacations in different countries and eat delicious international meals.” I listen to this while I drool over your green house with flowers and vegetables, and your home designed and redesigned over years. Not that I cannot have a garden or design my home while living abroad. But, I normally choose not to, because I would have to leave it anyway in a few years, if not months. So, why bother?
Like most life-styles, living abroad has its advantages, but it also has its obstacles. Yes, it’s great that my children are learning several languages, and that we explore diverse cultures and traditions. And yes, it’s fantastic to be visiting new countries, and my personal favorite, tasting foods from everywhere we go. (Just between you and me, food is the main reason I motivate myself to travel.)
One big obstacle to this international life-style is the constant disruption of bonds I make with friends. Having lived in different countries most of my life, I have learned that it takes over five years to build a sustainable community – an environment where a group of friends and a location can support me and my family in good days and bad.
There are two main reasons why I live abroad. And this is where I get to tell you why I am not so different from you. You and I both chase an exotic and exciting life. I believe, people are wired to desire independence from what they grow up with. However, we do not reach our destinations driven by the dreams of exotic and exciting, no matter how it looks on social media.
You are where you are, probably because of the same things I am where I am. I live abroad because of my family and because of jobs opportunities. You are probably living where you are, because of these two things, or at least one of them. Right? We live where we can make a living, and where our families are.
Of course, there is always an exception to everything. Maybe you are an exception too. If that’s the case, you can stop listening to me now. But, I have a feeling that you are just a regular person as I am, anchored to your job and/or family.
